Silicon Valley has officially reached peak weirdness with Kohler’s latest innovation that nobody asked for: a camera designed to stare directly into your toilet bowl. 🚽

Imagine paying $599 to have a high-tech device analyze your bathroom business like some sort of porcelain panopticon. The Dekoda isn’t just any camera - it’s a “health monitoring” gadget that promises to track everything from gut health to hydration levels by photographing what you leave behind.

Privacy? What Privacy?

Kohler claims the camera “only sees down into your toilet” - because that’s totally reassuring, right? With a fingerprint sensor for user identification and end-to-end encryption, they’re treating your bathroom experience like a secure tech product launch.

Subscription Required (Because Of Course)

Beyond the hefty hardware price, users get to enjoy recurring charges between $70-$156 annually. Apparently, detailed toilet analytics are a premium service in 2025. Who knew your bodily functions could be monetized so efficiently?

The Silicon Valley Toilet Tech Arms Race

This isn’t even the first toilet camera on the market. A startup called Throne is also competing in this bizarre niche of bathroom surveillance technology. Welcome to the future, where nothing - not even your most private moments - is sacred.

Bottom line: Tech companies will literally do anything for data, including turning your toilet into a scientific research station.