Picture this: you’re sipping your overpriced oat milk latte in a chic San Francisco café while the economy around you is slowly falling apart. Sounds dramatic? Welcome to the world of reciprocal tariffs, where the only thing guaranteed is uncertainty and perhaps a side of panic. An economist from New York University has stepped into the ring to deliver a blistering verdict: reciprocal tariffs are a disaster waiting to happen for the economy, American consumers, and let’s not even talk about the stock market, which seems to have the emotional maturity of a teenager on TikTok.

So, what exactly is a reciprocal tariff? Essentially, it’s the adult version of a playground spat where two kids decide that if one takes away toys, the other gets to take theirs too. Did someone say trade wars? You probably don’t need a Ph.D. to figure out that this tit-for-tat approach won’t help anyone, except maybe for that small elite class who thrives off playing puppet master while the rest of us scramble to find affordable burritos.

The economist warns that these tariffs don’t just hit other countries. Nope, they spiral back and land smack dab on the good ol’ American consumer. Think that new tech gadget you’ve been eyeing? Get ready to cough up even more cash because those prices will skyrocket faster than a viral cat video. Thanks, tariffs!

And while we’re discussing economic fallout, let’s take a moment to ponder the stock market, that fickle beast that reacts to any whisper of uncertainty like a toddler to a broccoli plate. Spoiler alert: when companies start sweating bullets over increased costs and dwindling sales, their stock prices won’t just take a dive, they’ll belly flop into the deep end.

As Millennials and Gen Z brace for the ripple effects of this economic rollercoaster, we can only hope that our collective efforts in advocating for holistic and equitable solutions drown out any capitalist chaos. Maybe it’s time to act less like distant spectators and more like passionate players on the field of economic change. After all, the stakes are hyperreal, we have the power, and why not demand a system that supports us instead of shackling us with tariffs and inflated prices?