Silicon Valley has a knack for turning lofty ideas into even loftier problems. As the birth rate continues to tumble, the tech elite has jumped on the pronatalism bandwagon, demanding more babies, because why not? Today, we dissect this bizarre new trend where, among the glittering buildings and gilded tech, the solution to societal issues is just: so many more babies.

The Valley’s top names, including the likes of Elon Musk and even JD Vance, have taken to the airwaves with a unified message: pop out some kids! Musk, for instance, claims that a low birth rate poses a greater risk to humanity than climate change, which is, uh, a hot take, to say the least. So, Elon, father of 14, seems to believe that the world can be saved with a population boom (and maybe a few more Teslas).

But let’s face it: encouraging people to have more kids feels less like a solution and more like a hashtag campaign. These proclamations often overlook other realities, like economic instability, skyrocketing living costs, and parents’ mental health. It’s easy for the wealthy to advocate for more children when they’re set for life. But for us mere mortals navigating crumbling infrastructure and rent that eats up 80% of our paycheck…? Not so much.

Then there are the users of super problematic tech, where selecting embryos based on “desirable” traits like intelligence or athletic ability could easily slide into eugenics territory. Just imagine a world where babies are backed by a startup red tape that ensures only the “best” make it through. Call it the “Silicon Valley Selection Process”. This could lead us to a society even more divided by class and privilege than we already are.

So what’s the real fix? Countries trying to boost their birth rates have had little success; take Japan’s failed attempts. The truth is, it’s not as simple as throwing money at parenting or pleading for more kiddos. Well-rounded, sustainable solutions include improving healthcare systems, providing parental support, and creating an economic environment where raising kids isn’t synonymous with financial ruin.

It’s time for Silicon Valley to focus on real solutions, because let’s be honest, a few more kids won’t fix the societal problems that plague us now. More emphasis on community support, less on optimizing human reproduction, please, and thank you.