In a plot twist that could rival any Bay Area tech startup pivot, San Francisco’s Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone has suddenly decided to break ranks with his MAGA-loving tendencies and throw some serious ecclesiastical shade at Trump’s immigration crackdown.

Turning heads faster than a hipster spotting an artisanal avocado toast, Cordileone joined 216 other Catholic bishops in issuing a rare “special statement” condemning mass deportation tactics that have been terrorizing immigrant communities. This is the same archbishop who’s historically been about as progressive as a Silicon Valley tech bro’s LinkedIn profile - virulently anti-same-sex marriage, COVID restriction flouter, and serial Nancy Pelosi critic.

Breaking Catholic Ranks

The statement pulls zero punches, declaring “We oppose the indiscriminate mass deportation of people” and expressing deep grief for families torn apart by aggressive immigration enforcement. It’s a compassionate mic drop that feels particularly poignant in a city built by generations of immigrant dreams and determination.

Papal Influence?

Whispers suggest the new Pope Leo XIV might have nudged bishops towards this bold stance, proving that even the Vatican can occasionally read the room. With Catholic mass attendance plummeting in immigrant-heavy neighborhoods like the Mission District, this statement feels like both a moral stance and a strategic olive branch.

The Bigger Picture

While the bishops strategically avoided naming Trump directly, the message is crystal clear: humanity trumps bureaucratic cruelty. In a region that prides itself on inclusivity and progressive values, this statement resonates like a clarion call for basic human dignity.

Who knew the most revolutionary statement this year would come from a historically conservative archbishop? San Francisco, you never cease to surprise us.