Tech overlord Mark Zuckerberg is at it again, proving that Silicon Valley’s obsession with turning humans into walking tech accessories knows no bounds.

At Meta Connect, Zuckerberg unveiled a wristband that essentially turns your hand into a secret messaging machine. Imagine typing texts without touching your phone - because apparently, we’re too lazy to use our actual fingers now.

The Neural Ninja Move

The $799 smart glasses paired with this wristband promise to revolutionize how we interact with technology. Zuckerberg claims he’s “replacing the keyboard, mouse, touch screen” with barely perceptible hand movements. Translation: We’re one step closer to becoming cyborgs without even realizing it.

The Tech Takeover

Meta’s been teasing this tech for years, finally bringing their brain-computer interface dreams to life. Despite Reality Labs losing billions, Zuckerberg remains convinced that neural bands are the future. The wristband, which won’t be sold separately, is part of Meta’s grand plan to embed their tech into every aspect of our lives.

The Privacy Paradox

While Zuckerberg boasts about “typing without anyone seeing,” let’s be real - this is just another way for Big Tech to collect more data about our micro-movements and intentions. Because who doesn’t want a tech billionaire knowing exactly how we gesture?

Starting September 30th, you too can join the neural revolution with Meta Ray-Ban Display and Meta Neural Band. Resistance is futile, apparently.