Just when you thought military celebrations couldn’t get any more chaotic, the Marines managed to turn a 250th-anniversary event into a live-action episode of “Whoops, There Goes the Shrapnel!”

When Fireworks Go Wrong

On a seemingly normal Saturday in San Diego, what was supposed to be a routine military demonstration turned into a highway horror show. Vice President JD Vance and Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth were on hand to celebrate the Marine Corps’ milestone birthday, but things went sideways faster than a Silicon Valley startup burning through venture capital.

Newsom vs. The Military Spectacle

California Governor Gavin Newsom wasn’t having any of this artillery-over-highway nonsense. In a classic Newsom mic drop moment, he called out the “vanity project” and ordered the closure of Interstate 5, effectively telling the military, “Not on my watch”.

Shrapnel Surprise

A 155-millimeter shell decided to throw its own party, prematurely detonating and peppering California Highway Patrol vehicles with metal confetti. Miraculously, no one was injured, but the incident left everyone questioning the wisdom of live ammunition displays over busy highways.

Republican Darrell Issa tried to paint Newsom as a military-hating buzzkill, but let’s be real: most Californians would prefer their highways shrapnel-free. The Marines promised to investigate, which is government speak for “we’ll look into how we spectacularly messed up”.

In the end, what was meant to be a patriotic display turned into a cautionary tale about the dangers of military overkill. Just another day in the wild world of government shenanigans.