Palm Beach’s Mar-a-Lago, where brunches are just a little more expensive than your average diner’s check, is taking fine dining to nauseating extremes. Millionaires are handing over their hard-earned cash (thanks, capitalism!) just to nibble tiny hors d’oeuvres while rubbing elbows with President Donald Trump. Yes, you read that right. For a mere $5 million, business leaders can secure an exclusive one-on-one with the former president. Think of all the avocado toast you could buy instead.

Let’s unpack this extravagance. Recently, ways to get Trump’s attention included a candlelight dinner where a seat cost $1 million. Yes, apparently, the candles alone are worth a fortune. Invites, which might as well come with a side of hypocrisy, included the oh-so-fancy header “MAGA INC”. Don’t worry, though, the invitation reassured guests that “Donald J. Trump is appearing at this event only as a featured speaker, and is not asking for funds or donations”. LOL. Sure, Jan.

Hosted by Trump’s inner circle, which includes names like Meredith O’Rourke and Abby Mathis, because who doesn’t love mixing high finance with politics?, these dinner gatherings have become a hot item in the business community, with attendees likely convinced they’re securing their future stability by forking over hefty sums.

What do these wealthy guests gain for their money? Rumor has it that the funds will go towards a presidential library, because nothing screams “I love democracy” like funding a building that lets Trump tell his own story. Meanwhile, Trump’s campaign raised a staggering $450 million before the 2024 election, which really makes you wonder how much of it will actually serve the public versus lining his pockets.

Critics are raising eyebrows, with political experts suggesting that these high-priced dinner parties blur the ethical lines between business and government. Apparently, the idea that cozying up to the rich while in office is ethically questionable is a foreign concept, just like common decency.

As previous presidents hosted fundraisers, Trump seems intent on rewriting the rulebook. Is it a dinner or a power scheme? Here’s hoping the next candlelight dinner features a real buffet, because the idea of paying for crumbs off the rich man’s table is getting old.