U.S. stocks celebrated Friday with quite the spirited dance, marking their best day since the polls swung in favor of some serious hustle! But let’s be real: it’s not enough to stop Wall Street from enduring a fourth consecutive week in the red, leaving many wondering if the stock market is just a glorified rollercoaster.

The S&P 500 decided to rise to the occasion, climbing 2.1% on Friday, a day after making headlines by falling more than 10% below its record. Talk about the ultimate cliffhanger! Meanwhile, the Dow Jones Industrial Average bounced back with a respectable 1.7% uptick, and the Nasdaq composite sizzled up 2.6%. Still, these celebrations can’t mask the gloomy clouds hanging over investors’ heads.

The big players on the floor were no other than Ulta Beauty, which reported profit figures that left analysts utterly flabbergasted. Who knew lipstick could double as a stock market savior? Unfortunately, chatter about U.S. consumers tightening their wallets amid tariff uncertainty looms like a bad haircut.

Here’s a quick rundown of Friday’s numbers, for those keeping score at home:

• The S&P 500: up 117.42 points, closing at 5,638.94.
• The Dow: added 674.62 points, hitting 41,488.19.
• The Nasdaq: rose by 451.07 points, settling at 17,754.09.
• The Russell 2000: tagged on 50.40 points, closing at 2,044.10.

Now hold on to your wallets, because the week wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. The S&P 500 closed down 131.26 points, or 2.3%, while the Dow took a hit, falling by 1,313.53 points (that’s a 3.1% dip, in case you’re scoring). The Nasdaq managed to shed 442.13 points, or 2.4%, and even the Russell 2000 stumbled down by 31.39 points, registering at 1.5% down.

Looking at the bigger picture, 2025 hasn’t been kind to investors. With the S&P 500 down 242.69 points, or 4.1%, and the Dow down 1,056.03 points, it seems like we might need more than beauty products to get this economy back on track. We’re left pondering whether Ulta can work beauty magic on the entire economic landscape or if things will just keep getting a little uglier. Hang in there, folks. Meanwhile, we’ll be over here, wondering if we should invest in lashes or just stocking our shelves with ramen noodles for the foreseeable future.