Buckle up, Bay Area friends, because the federal workplace just got a whole lot more dystopian. President Donald Trump’s return-to-office mandate is turning government buildings into a circus of inefficiency, tech failures, and employee burnout.

Imagine spending hours commuting just to sit in a cubicle and stare at a screen with spotty Wi-Fi while battling for basic supplies like pens and toilet paper. Welcome to the new reality for federal workers across the country.

The Productivity Paradox

Employees are reporting a dramatic nosedive in productivity. At the CDC, one worker candidly shared they’re getting two-to-three hours less meaningful work done each day. Why? Because they’re crammed into overcrowded spaces, juggling virtual meetings, and struggling with basic infrastructure.

Tech Troubles and Mental Health Meltdowns

The situation isn’t just logistically nightmarish - it’s taking a serious toll on mental health. Workers are reporting increased stress, depression, and physical discomfort. One Department of Defense employee admitted to crying almost daily after leaving the office.

The Infrastructure Implosion

From broken water machines to limited office space, federal agencies are experiencing a full-blown organizational meltdown. The $1 spending limit on government credit cards has only exacerbated these issues, leaving employees scrambling for basic necessities.

While Trump and Elon Musk claim these mandates will boost productivity and save money, the reality on the ground tells a very different story. Federal workers are not just frustrated - they’re systematically being set up to fail.