Elon Musk’s brainchild, the Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE), has decided that 1,500 federal workers need a new coworker in the form of GSAi, a shiny new chatbot. Yes, folks, that’s right , the federal government is leaning into automation as if it’s the next avocado toast trend.

GSAi isn’t just your average chatbot powered by WiFi and caffeine; it’s designed to handle various tasks, presumably so federal employees can spend more time staring blankly at their screens and less time doing their actual jobs. This move comes just as DOGE has been engaging in a good ol’ purge of the federal workforce (because what says efficiency like laying off actual humans?).

Rumors are swirling about this nifty little tool being trained on data that only a bureaucratic interior designer could dream up. And while the developers hope GSAi will analyze contracts and procurement data, AI experts are scratching their heads, wondering if this is just the prelude to more layoffs. Spoiler alert: it probably is.

Initially piloted with just 150 workers, the floodgates are now open for its deployment agency-wide. So, if you’re one of the selected lucky 1,500, get ready to interact with GSAi on a sleek interface that resembles ChatGPT , because nothing screams bureaucratic efficiency like a tech upgrade!

As the memo that went around said, “the options are endless,” sure, as long as what you need doesn’t include your deeply personal secrets or classified information, no pressure. But don’t fret! Employees can still ask GSAi to draft emails, write code, or summarise text. Sounds groovy until you realize it’s likely as useful as a mediocre intern who’s more focused on TikToks than task completion.

And in a parallel universe of reckoning, other agencies, like the Treasury and Department of Health and Human Services, are also considering a spin on this mechanical marvel. Somewhere in the heart of the Army, they’re using a different AI to wipe all mention of diversity and inclusion from training materials, so expect everything to get pretty dystopian, pretty fast.

Meanwhile, the hierarchy is keeping it cozy, announcing they’ll be slashing tech staff by 50% amid plans for a supposed new high-performance culture. Because nothing screams productivity like less human oversight and more automated tools, right? Meanwhile, the remaining staff are getting ready to be directed toward “public-facing” projects. Who knew federal work could sound so flashy?

So, in classic DOGE fashion, they’re asking for a results-oriented team. Maybe what they need is a results-oriented way to treat their employees, but hey, who could blame them? After all, they’re just trying to keep up with Silicon Valley’s finest ideas, one chatbot at a time.