Engineers at Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (yes, that’s real) are cooking up a little something called AutoRIF, short for Automated Reduction in Force. You know, just in case you thought your job security was safe. This shiny new software is designed to streamline the process of firing federal workers. Yes, folks, they’re literally automating your downfall.

Originally crafted by the Department of Defense two decades ago, AutoRIF has seen a few upgrades and now seems poised for a comeback, courtesy of your favorite billionaire and his band of merry corporate overlords. According to Wired, the gang at DOGE, where Musk’s best pals have apparently taken up residence, has been elbow-deep in the code, making adjustments and stirring trouble like it’s a new Tesla model.

Let’s talk numbers: Thousands of workers have already been booted across various federal agencies. And with AutoRIF gearing up, even more terminations could be just around the corner. Imagine an AI assessing your worth based on who-knows-what criteria, and if you’re deemed surplus to requirements, well, it’s been nice knowing you!

Reports suggest that the current firing process involves HR officials painstakingly sifting through employee lists. But it seems the folks at DOGE believe that’s just too time-intensive. Instead of using actual human discretion, what a quaint notion, they’re coding a system to spit out ranked lists of fired employees almost as quickly as they can press a button. The future is here, and it’s not looking promising for public servants.

Riccardo Biasini, a name that likely rings a bell (if you’re even slightly involved in tech world gossip), is one of the individuals assigned to trim this digital fat. He’s working on the GitHub repository to simplify this automated nightmare. Is it just us, or does handing the power of job loss over to AI reek of classic dystopian fiction?

But all this talk of efficiency isn’t without pushback. Some agencies, including the FBI, are reportedly ignoring DOGE’s email directives that ask employees to detail their recent work accomplishments. Imagine getting an email demanding you justify your existence like you’re in a toxic workplace situation , welcome to the Biden administration, where the walls are closing in, and your job might be next.

As the second wave of firings looms, government employees are looking over their shoulders every time they hear a computer beep. The future of job security is now a game of data and algorithms, but one thing’s for sure, the rich are securing their fortunes while the rest of us are left holding our breath. Welcome to the age of capitalist efficiency!