A regular Saturday morning is shattered for federal employees who suddenly find themselves staring down an email demanding a quick run-down of their week’s accomplishments, complete with a threat from Elon Musk that not responding could be interpreted as a resignation. What a way to kick off a weekend, right?

Welcome to the world of the Office of Personnel Management, or OPM, where the circus of confusion is now a regular feature. As it turns out, on this particular Saturday, the email was sent to various employees throughout the government, triggering instant bafflement, an avalanche of eye-rolls, and, unsurprisingly, a healthy dose of resentment.

Commenting on the absurdity of it all, one anonymous air traffic controller summed it up perfectly: “So fucking dumb!” Yes, we couldn’t agree more.

The leadership at numerous agencies was equally blindsided, with the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) taking the lead in confusion by initially questioning if they had fallen for a phishing scam. Some brave souls there were even advised to avoid checking emails altogether. Smart move, considering the realm we’re dealing with here.

Meanwhile, at the National Institute of Standards and Technology, employees found themselves caught in a game of telephone with their managers, as some were told to withhold responses while others were urged to comply immediately. If only they had a nice cozy blanket fort to hide away in while fending off the chaos.

As if things could get any more chaotic, even federal judges got dragged into the circus, receiving the same ridiculous email but quickly disavowing any responsibility for it. On top of that, military personnel were instructed to await additional guidance from the Department of Defense. Sounds like an episode of a really bad sitcom.

Of course, this is not the first rodeo for OPM, which has been operating under the whims of Musk and his minions. A previous charming correspondence offered ‘deferred resignations’ to those who disagreed with the return-to-office policy. If you’re sensing a pattern here, you’re absolutely on point.

As a cherry on top, despite Musk’s insistence on having the authority to threaten federal workers, the White House clarified that he is merely a ‘senior advisor’ and doesn’t have the power to execute any mass firings himself. But hey, who needs jurisdiction when you can sprinkle chaos all around?

In a world where federal employees are daydreaming of an escape from all the nonsense, this email debacle reminds us that under the flashy surface of innovation and power moves, our government is still stumbling down the rabbit hole of mismanagement and confusion. 🚩