FREMONT — You know that feeling when your house gets messy, so you just shove all the clutter into the closet and pretend it doesn’t exist? Well, get ready, because the Fremont City Council is planning to do just that with a brand-new camping ban that could shove the city’s homeless residents right out of sight.

Mayor Raj Salwan, in his latest episode of “let’s sweep this under the rug,” has hinted that the ban could be discussed as early as February 4. Draft documents indicate that they’re ready to establish some strict guidelines—which basically means telling homeless individuals where they’re not allowed to camp. Spoiler alert: it’ll be practically everywhere public, including streets, sidewalks, parks, and even the banks of your local waterways. Perfect for those wildlife lovers who think a tent in nature is the ultimate experience.

If the Council gives the green light, Fremont will allocate over $1 million (because clearly, money grows on trees) to hire more police officers to tackle complaints about encampments and to fund those beloved “waste management” services for messy clean-ups. What an investment in public resources!

Fremont is currently in a tizzy—residents are showing up to meetings to either support or oppose this proposal, with some gathering over 1,300 signatures in favor. Salwan thinks that with this new legislative heroism, the unhoused folks will comply and “cooperate.” After all, nothing says cooperation like a citation, right?

Check out the numbers: Fremont, with a population of over 226,000, had an estimated 612 individuals without shelter last year. It’s like having a short family reunion—if your family reunion consisted of those living in RVs, tents, or the occasional makeshift shelter.

Supporters of the ban, however, conveniently forget that there aren’t enough resources for those unhoused souls, which means—surprise!—they’ll still be out there. Lisa Dooley, a homeless veteran residing near Quarry Lakes, made it crystal clear: “That’s not a way to solve the problem.” You don’t say!

Lucky for her, Fremont does have one navigational center—because those are always flying off the shelves—helping dozens find temporary housing. But the reality remains that if “sweeping” becomes the norm, many of those living on the streets will simply be displaced, not magically delivered to a comfy bed.

So to the City Council, here’s a thought: instead of treating homelessness like a problem to be hidden away, how about investing in real solutions? Empower communities, increase shelter resources, and provide jobs—not just another “magic wand” that doesn’t work wonders. Until then, it looks like the great outdoors just got a little less welcoming.