From crypto evangelists to index fund enthusiasts, the Bay Area is crawling with financial bros talking about their portfolios like they're their children. Take this quiz to find out where you land on the spectrum of financial bro-dom—are you all-in on that #hustle lifestyle, or just dabbling in the markets between avocado toast brunches?

• How do you spend your Sunday mornings?

  Reading the Wall Street Journal with your pour-over coffee ☕

  Checking crypto prices before you even brush your teeth 📱

  Updating your spreadsheet that tracks every penny of your net worth 🧮

  Sleeping in, blissfully unaware of what the markets are doing 😴

• What's your go-to conversation starter at Bay Area parties?

  "Did you see what happened with [insert trending stock] today?" 📊

  "Let me tell you why this bear market is actually good for crypto" 🐻

  "I just rebalanced my portfolio to optimize for tax-loss harvesting" 📝

  "So, um, what do you do?" (literally anything not finance-related) 🎮

• What's on your bookshelf?

  "Rich Dad, Poor Dad" and at least three books with "millionaire" in the title 💰

  "The Bitcoin Standard" and printouts of Satoshi Nakamoto's white paper 📚

  "A Random Walk Down Wall Street" and Vanguard's complete investing guide 📘

  Fiction books and maybe that one budgeting book your parents gave you 📖

• What's your biggest financial flex?

  "I made six figures on a single options trade last month" 💸

  "I bought Ethereum at $10" (whether true or not) 🪙

  "My investment fees are under 0.1% and I've maxed out every tax-advantaged account" 📊

  "I actually saved enough for a vacation this year" ✈️

• What's your retirement plan?

  Early retirement through aggressive trading and starting my own hedge fund 🏢

  My coins will 100x and I'll cash out to my own private island 🏝️

  I'll follow the 4% rule after reaching my carefully calculated FIRE number 🔥

  Retirement? In this economy? 😂