In the latest episode of As the Market Turns, Wall Street has once again taken a nosedive, heading toward its fifth consecutive weekly loss. Yes, you read that right, grab your popcorn because this is getting juicy.

The S&P 500 dropped 0.6%, marking its worst streak in nearly two years. Meanwhile, the Dow Jones Industrial Average fell by 228 points, or a hearty 0.5%, by mid-morning. Can someone please check if the stock market needs a therapist?

Tech stocks are at the center of this turmoil, with the high-flying titans like NVIDIA and Microsoft falling 1.7% and 0.6%, respectively. Remember when these companies were riding that sweet, sweet tech wave? Well, it seems the tide has turned, and it’s not pretty. Investors are asking themselves if this is a mere correction or the start of a full-blown identity crisis.

Inflation fears have reared their ugly head, with prices stubbornly above the Federal Reserve’s cozy 2% target. Combine that with tariffs threatening businesses and consumers alike, and you’ve got a recipe for economic chaos. Nike has joined the pity party, forecasting a 6.5% revenue decline because of “geopolitical dynamics” (read: the mess created by recent trade policies) and a consumer base that’s about as confident as a cat at a dog show.

Even FedEx isn’t safe from the wreckage, tumbling 9% after cautioning that revenue might flat-line, or worse. Homebuilders are sweating bullets too, with Lennar’s shares plummeting 5.5%. The company announced a weaker-than-expected forecast, attributing its downturn to high interest rates, inflation, and a waning consumer confidence.

At this point, it’s clear the Federal Reserve has some heavy lifting to do. They’ve held interest rates steady but are scrambling to navigate a rocky economic landscape, not to mention these tariffs that keep popping up like unwanted ads online.

And as if that wasn’t enough, chaos erupted at London’s Heathrow Airport thanks to a fire that disrupted travel for hundreds of thousands. Thanks guys, appreciate you making our global transportation headaches even more complicated.

Across the pond, European markets are reeling as well, with Britain’s FTSE 100 slipping down by 0.6%. The German DAX followed suit, dropping 0.7% as lawmakers push for more government spending on defense and infrastructure, because apparently that’s a higher priority than, I don’t know, basic human needs?

As we keep our fingers crossed and brace for impact, remember: this is not just the world’s rollercoaster; it’s our livelihood. Stay informed and maybe consider investing in invisible ink, because it seems like that could be the next big thing.