In the latest twist of capitalist irony, a report from an esteemed anti-poverty group reveals that billionaires are raking in cash faster than you can say, “I can’t afford my student loans.” In 2024, the fortunes of the ultra-wealthy grew three times as fast as they did in 2023. Meanwhile, the rest of us are just trying to figure out how to afford avocado toast without breaking the bank.

As the world’s elite gather in Davos—where social responsibility apparently means sipping on overpriced lattes and discussing “the plight of the poor” in their cushy suits—the rich are adding zeros to their net worths like it’s a game of Monopoly. Trump, Musk, and their billionaire buddies must have found the secret to success because they clearly didn’t get the memo about the economic stagnation affecting the rest of us.

Shockingly, despite all the billionaires getting wealthier and wealthier, the number of impoverished folks hasn’t really budged in 25 years. So while billionaires are busy collecting yachts and private jets, the world’s poor are still struggling with the same old problems—like how to keep food on the table without resorting to ramen for every meal (sorry, guys, those 10-cent packs aren’t much of a feast).

In a world where wealth and poverty seem to be evolving on separate planets, it’s tough to be anything but cynical. We get it; the rich need to breathe too, but spare us the dramatic eye-rolls about how hard it is to stay rich when you step out of your mansion. You’re still living off investment dividends while the rest of us are living paycheck to paycheck, praying to the gods of financial stability.

So, as electronic hubbub buzzes about new tech and fancy innovation at Davos or wherever the elite gather next, remember this: their gain is your loss. The system is rigged, and while they throw themselves a lavish party, we’re stuck in the real world, battling rent increases and student debt.

Prepare your protest signs, folks. It looks like we need to remind these billionaires that the “wealth gap” isn’t just a buzzword—it’s our reality.