In the latest episode of ‘As the Stock Market Turns,’ Wall Street took yet another dive. Yep, you heard it right! The S&P 500 slipped 0.2% with the Dow Jones Industrial Average barely keeping its head above water, dipping by 11 points, talk about a drama queen! Meanwhile, the Nasdaq composite decided to join the pity party and fell 0.3%. It’s safe to say that market swings are now a new Olympic sport, and frankly, we might want to just head home.

What’s causing this ruckus? Spoiler alert: Politics. President Trump’s latest policy changes are throwing financial predictability right out the window, with traders caught in a whirlwind of uncertainty about the future of the U.S. economy. We may be living through what experts are calling a “low fire, low hire” job market with fewer unemployment claims than predicted. That’s great, right? I mean, unless you’re trying to make sense of the stock market.

More signs came in this Thursday litmus test to boost the ‘we’re okay’ narrative: home sales exceeded expectations (shocker!) and manufacturing growth is looking slightly less grim in the mid-Atlantic region. But if you think this means we can all breathe easy, think again! Fed Chair Jerome Powell reminded everyone that uncertainty is the name of the game right now.

Let’s not forget about Accenture. Despite beating profit expectations, its stocks took a nosedive of 7.3% because hey, fear of government spending cuts always does wonders for confidence! It’s pretty clear that if the federal government’s got a hangover from mismanagement, then companies like Accenture are left to pick up the pieces.

Stock prices are now more than 10% off their all-time highs, and experts are saying it’s about time for a bounce-back, because honestly, who doesn’t love a good comeback story? Barry Bannister of Stifel suggests relief rallies might hit, particularly if the Fed cuts interest rates again. But that’s a risky tightrope walk, folks, because inflation warns us to tread lightly.

In summary, while today’s economic outlook has a few silver linings, it feels like we’re all just one Trump tweet away from chaos. Frankly, traders should take a deep breath, hold on to their wallets, and remember: the market loves a good plot twist! Want to trade your sanity for a day on the stock market? Good luck with that!