In a plot twist that even Silicon Valley couldn’t predict, Gwyneth Paltrow has landed a hilariously random gig as Astronomer’s “temporary spokesperson” following a viral concert drama.

After the company’s CEO Andy Byron and chief people officer Kristin Cabot resigned over an awkward Coldplay concert kiss cam moment, Astronomer decided to embrace the chaos with peak Bay Area energy.

From Goop to Data Flows

Paltrow, known for her wellness empire and being Chris Martin’s ex, stepped into this unexpected role with trademark sass. In a social media video, she deadpanned through tech jargon about data workflow automation, declaring Astronomer “the best place to run Apache Airflow” with the same confidence she promotes jade eggs.

Corporate Damage Control, but Make it Chic

The internet collectively lost its mind, praising the company’s brilliant PR move. Comments ranged from “INSANE TO GET CHRIS MARTIN’S EX” to “10/10 PR strategy,” proving that in tech, sometimes humor is the best crisis management tool.

The Interim CEO’s Silver Lining

New interim CEO Pete DeJoy embraced the unexpected fame, noting that Astronomer is now a “household name” - though probably not in the way they originally anticipated. Talk about turning workplace drama into a viral marketing moment!