San Francisco’s housing market has done it again, folks. Just when you thought rental listings couldn’t get more absurd, we’ve discovered a “student room” in the Portola neighborhood that redefines the term “minimalist living”.

For a cool $1,200 per month, lucky renters get a space that generously calls itself a room, complete with what can only be described as a culinary crime scene. Forget a fully equipped kitchen - this spot offers a “counter space” featuring a microwave and mini-fridge, with the bonus feature of using your bathroom sink as your primary dishwashing station.

The Not-So-Gourmet Setup

Imagine preparing your gourmet ramen (because what else would you cook?) on a tiny counter, then trudging to the bathroom to rinse your dishes. The listing boasts a “private entrance via backyard” and “storage area” - which sounds suspiciously like code for “you’ll be living in what might generously be called a closet”.

The Backyard “Bonus”

As if the kitchen situation wasn’t underwhelming enough, the backyard is about as exciting as watching paint dry. At least it’s trash-free, which in San Francisco real estate is apparently something to celebrate.

The Student Special

The listing claims it’s “perfect for a student” - translation: we know this space is barely habitable, but hey, you’re young and desperate! With no access to common areas or a real kitchen, this feels less like a room and more like a creative punishment for aspiring renters.

Welcome to San Francisco housing, where your bathroom doubles as a kitchen, and $1,200 buys you the privilege of calling a glorified storage space “home”.