Hold onto your artisan coffee, San Francisco! Another billionaire is swooping into our beloved city with grand plans to “fix” a neighborhood - because clearly, what we need is another wealthy tech bro deciding what’s best for our community.

Neil Mehta, a venture capitalist with more money than urban planning sense, has been buying up properties on Upper Fillmore Street faster than you can say “gentrification”. His latest hobby? Transforming a street that’s already been through more identity changes than a startup’s pivot strategy.

The Neighborhood Makeover Nobody Asked For

Mehta’s “vision” includes evicting long-standing businesses like the 46-year-old family-owned Ten-Ichi sushi restaurant. His justification? He wants to “elevate” the retail offerings. Because nothing says progress like replacing local institutions with trendy, overpriced establishments that scream “I just moved here from New York”.

Tech Bro Urban Planning 101

In a podcast interview that reads like a Silicon Valley fever dream, Mehta claims he’s doing this out of pure love for San Francisco. He dramatically declares the city is “ground zero for interesting people” while simultaneously complaining about “progressive causes” - code for wanting affordable housing and protecting small businesses.

The Grand Plan

His master plan includes a new theater, an “all-day diner” (whatever that means), and a nonprofit called the Upper Fillmore Revitalization Project. Spoiler alert: it sounds more like a gentrification blueprint than a community restoration effort.

While Mehta insists he’s not making a profit and is losing money on these investments, color us skeptical. Another wealthy tech investor “saving” a neighborhood by pricing out its original inhabitants? We’ve seen this movie before, and trust us, the ending is never great for long-time residents.

Stay tuned, San Francisco. The saga of Upper Fillmore’s transformation is just beginning.