The San Francisco 49ers are finally getting their act together, and it’s all about their quarterback, Brock Purdy. General manager John Lynch announced that negotiations have kicked off for a long-term contract that will hopefully keep Purdy in the city where tech dreams come true, and overpriced avocado toast reigns.

Purdy, who’s been sipping on the NFL’s equivalent of a budget latte for a mere $1 million a year, is nearing the end of his rookie deal, which is basically the biggest steal in the league. As the last pick of the 2022 draft, he’s been serving up MVP-worthy performances but hasn’t seen his paycheck match his play, until now!

Speaking at the NFL scouting combine in Indianapolis, Lynch said, “We have started negotiations. We’re talking. I won’t go into negotiations like always is our stance. I want Brock to be our quarterback as long as we’re here and beyond, and we’ll leave it at that”. Classic GM talk, very political, but we’re here for it.

Currently, Purdy is poised to see his salary jump to about $5.2 million for the 2025 season. Sounds nice, but let’s be real: given his stunning rise through the ranks, he could be looking at a staggering $50 million annual contract. Note to Purdy: don your best negotiating shoes!

Despite having his struggles last season, with injuries tearing through the 49ers’ roster like a bad Tinder date, Purdy still boasts a strong belief from the organization. His passer rating may have dropped, along with a few games, but he finished fourth in MVP voting, so the hype is real.

In other news, wide receiver Deebo Samuel is looking for a fresh start after voicing thoughts of seeking a trade. Lynch confirmed the Niners have granted him permission, which is just another sign of the wild times in the NFL. Who knew that San Francisco’s turf could be a breeding ground for drama?

On a brighter note for the Niners, superstar players Christian McCaffrey and Trent Williams seem to be making strides in their recovery from injuries, and the team feels optimistic about their return. Lynch reassured fans, stating, “Trent is playing. He’s really motivated to come back”.

Meanwhile, the coaching staff is shifting gears with the promotion of Mick Lombardi to quarterbacks coach, replacing Brian Griese, who decided family time was more appealing than NFL chaos. Imagine that, a coach wanting to spend more time with loved ones while navigating the sharks of the football world.

As the offseason unfolds, all eyes will be on how the 49ers handle their roster. Will they secure Purdy? Will Deebo find a new home? And how can we get seats to this spectacle? Things are looking exciting in the Bay, and that’s saying something in an area saturated with startups and overpriced coffee.