San Francisco Giants pitcher Justin Verlander is experiencing what can only be described as a professional existential crisis on the baseball diamond. At 42, the legendary hurler is finding that age might be more than just a number when it comes to throwing heat.

The Struggle Is Real

Verlander, a three-time Cy Young Award winner, is currently winless in 14 starts and painfully aware that his once-dominant pitching style is more “miss” than “hit” these days. In a brutally honest post-game interview, he admitted he’s “just not deceptive enough” - which sounds like something a magician would say after a failed card trick, not a Hall of Fame baseball player.

Mechanical Mishaps

His current strategy? Throwing metaphorical spaghetti at the wall and hoping something sticks. “I’ve had two or three instances in my career where everything I’ve known to try to fix something doesn’t work,” Verlander candidly shared. Translation: He’s in full experimental mode, desperately trying to recapture the magic that made him a baseball legend.

The Numbers Don’t Lie

With a 4.84 ERA and the Giants going 4-10 in his starts, Verlander is proving that Father Time remains undefeated. His $15 million salary suddenly feels like a reminder that past performance doesn’t guarantee future results - a lesson Silicon Valley tech bros know all too well.

As Verlander continues his quest to reach 300 career wins, Bay Area fans are left wondering: Can this baseball veteran reinvent himself, or is this the beginning of a graceful exit?