Hey Bay Area baseball nerds, get ready for some playoff magic that’s about to go down in the City of Brotherly Love!

Shohei Ohtani, the Japanese phenom who’s basically rewriting baseball’s rulebook, is stepping onto the postseason mound for the Dodgers with all the swagger of a tech startup disrupting an entire industry.

The Two-Way Superstar Returns

After recovering from his second elbow surgery, Ohtani isn’t just back – he’s back. This season, he’s been striking out batters like they’re obsolete coding languages, with a crisp 2.87 ERA and 62 strikeouts over 47 innings.

Philly Better Watch Out

Last month, Ohtani pitched five hitless innings against the Phillies, essentially demonstrating why he’s the most exciting player in baseball right now. His fastball is consistently clocking between 98-100 mph, with one delivery hitting a mind-blowing 101.2 mph.

Big Money, Big Dreams

With the Dodgers sporting a jaw-dropping $509 million total spend and the Phillies not far behind at $347.7 million, this playoff series is basically a high-stakes Silicon Valley funding round – but with baseball bats instead of venture capital.

Ohtani isn’t just playing baseball; he’s performing athletic performance art, and we’re all just lucky to be witnesses.