Listen up, Bay Area performance art enthusiasts and aspiring NBA-adjacent celebrities! The Golden State Valkyries are about to make your wildest mascot dreams come true.

Imagine getting paid bank ($130-$160 per hour) to bounce around a basketball court, hype up a crowd, and become a local legend – all without saying a single word. The newly minted WNBA team is on the hunt for their first-ever mascot, and they’re not messing around.

Mascot Casting: Not Your Average Job Interview

The audition requirements are basically a performance artist’s dream. You’ll need a resume that screams “I’m extra”, a headshot that could launch a thousand memes, and video proof that you can turn any moment into comedic gold. The Valkyries want someone who can bring “creativity and humor” – translation: someone who can make people laugh while looking completely ridiculous.

More Than Just Game Day Shenanigans

This isn’t just about in-arena entertainment. We’re talking team events, community appearances, and the chance to become a Bay Area pop culture icon. Your “office” will span from San Francisco to Sacramento, with most work revolving around game schedules.

The Fine Print

If you’re thinking this sounds too good to be true, here’s the tea: auditions are happening May 17-22 and June 12-13. The first Valkyries game drops May 16, so you’ll want to bring your A-game. Pro tip: non-verbal communication skills are mandatory, so practice those exaggerated gestures and comedic mime techniques.

Ready to turn your performative chaos into a paycheck? The internet is waiting for your audition video. Go forth and mascot, you absolute legend!