The San Francisco 49ers are limping into their upcoming game against the Rams, proving that football isn’t just a sport – it’s a full-contact survival challenge. With key players dropping like techbros at a startup pitch gone wrong, coach Kyle Shanahan is playing medical detective to field a competitive team.

The big news? Defensive end Bryce Huff is expected to make a triumphant return after nursing a hamstring injury. He’ll be crucial in reviving the team’s pass rush, which has been about as intimidating as a Silicon Valley intern’s first networking attempt – generating a measly 11 sacks in nine games.

The Walking Wounded

The injury report reads like a medical thriller. Rookie defensive linemen Alfred Collins (hip), Keion White (groin), and Kalia Davis (ankle) are all listed as questionable. Linebackers Dee Winters and Tatum Bethune are also hanging in injury limbo, creating more uncertainty than a crypto market.

Quarterback Quandary

With Brock Purdy’s big toe still causing drama, Mac Jones will start his sixth consecutive game. Purdy’s participation remains as unpredictable as San Francisco’s housing market, with the team listing him as questionable.

Draft Pick Disappointment

In a gut-punch moment, rookie defensive end Mykel Williams will be placed on injured reserve after sustaining a torn ACL. The first-round draft pick’s season is effectively over, reminding us that in football, potential can be derailed in an instant.

Stay tuned, 49ers fans – this game promises more twists and turns than a Mission District pub crawl!