Golden State Warriors fans, prepare for some tough love. Our beloved team just took a brutal beatdown at home, falling to the Minnesota Timberwolves in a playoff game that felt more like a mercy killing than competitive sports.

The Curry Curse Continues

Stephen Curry’s hamstring injury has transformed the Warriors from championship contenders to playoff casualties. Without their superstar, the team looked about as coordinated as a group of tech bros attempting synchronized swimming. Anthony Edwards and Julius Randle waltzed through Chase Center, scoring over 30 points each while the Warriors’ defense resembled a tech startup’s first pitch meeting - chaotic and ineffective.

Bench Warmers to the Rescue

Jonathan Kuminga tried his best to save face, dropping 23 points off the bench and proving he might be the only warrior willing to fight. The third quarter was a complete nightmare, with Minnesota demolishing Golden State 39-17 and executing a devastating 17-0 run that basically screamed “Bay Area, we’re taking over”.

Playoff Hopes Hanging by a Thread

With the series now 3-1 in Minnesota’s favor, the Warriors have a sliver of hope. Historically, only 13 NBA teams have ever comeback from a 3-1 deficit - and our boys did it once against Oklahoma City in 2016. But let’s be real: miracles are rare in professional sports, especially when your MVP is nursing a hamstring.

Game 5 is Wednesday in Minnesota, and Curry’s still out. Bay Area basketball fans, brace for potential heartbreak.