Amazon has just upgraded your once free and friendly voice assistant into a pricey buddy called Alexa+. Yes, you heard that right, it’s now going to cost you $19.99 a month unless you’re a Prime member. Isn’t that just what we needed in this all-too-capitalistic, fee-filled world?

Unveiled in a glitzy event in NYC, this generative-AI-packed version of Alexa now has the social skills of a chatty bestie and can actually plan your dates (like that’s what we needed, right?). It claims to check your tone and even converse in a more natural human-like flow. So instead of just answering basic questions, it will soon learn your dietary quirks, follow your moods, and, wait for it, text your babysitter. Has it earned the right to be called ‘BFF’? You decide.

While getting a monthly subscription for your digital friend sounds about as inviting as a line at the DMV, Amazon assures us that Alexa+ is smarter than ever. According to Panos Panay, Amazon’s VP of devices, this version can create study plans, call Ubers, and pull videos from your Ring cameras, because nothing says ‘friend’ like surveilling your dog while it decides to eat the couch.

But let’s pause for a moment and consider the implications. Alexa+ isn’t just about performing tasks; it’s about personal data. Amazon’s fancy language models are built to learn about you, who knows what they’ll decide to do with that data? Privacy? What’s that?

The rollout starts in the U.S. next month, but only for users who have the latest devices, so there’s a chance that if you’re rocking that vintage Echo, you’ll be left behind. Your old, reliable friend might become just that, old and reliable. And those still clinging to the original Alexa? Don’t worry, there’s no plan to cut you off just yet. You can still get your weather updates without having to cash out.

If you thought paying for premium services was limited to fancy lattes and Spotify, welcome to the new frontier where even AIs are charging storage fees. Sure, Alexa might have been your go-to for playing that sick playlist and reporting the weather, but now it comes at a cost, typical.

Oh, and let’s not forget the competition, because Alexa isn’t alone in this tech showdown. Apple and Google have their own smart speakers, but can they charge you to be your assistant? We’ll see how well that goes over.

In the end, the choice is yours: empty your pockets for a perky persona or hold on tight to your good old-fashioned, free Alexa. Either way, it’ll be interesting to see how our digital companions evolve in a world where everything comes with a subscription fee.