Tim Cook and the Apple squad just pulled another tech flex out of their sleeve, and honey, it’s slimmer than your startup’s chances of success.

The tech giant just unveiled the iPhone 17 lineup, with a new “Air” model that’s basically the supermodel of smartphones - measuring a jaw-dropping 5.6 millimeters wide. For context, that’s thinner than your last Tinder match’s personality.

The Price Tag Drama

Brace yourself for some wallet-wrenching news. The iPhone 17 Pro is getting a $100 price bump, landing at a cool $1,100. Meanwhile, the new iPhone Air starts at $1,000 - which is basically the price of a month’s rent in San Francisco. Classic Apple, always keeping us on our financial toes.

Selfie Culture Gets an Upgrade

For all you content creators and professional Instagram aesthetes, Apple’s dropped some serious camera upgrades. We’re talking a front camera with more megapixels, a “Center Stage” feature, and the ability to take landscape photos without doing awkward phone gymnastics.

Global Trade War Enters the Chat

With Trump back in the White House and tariffs flying around like tech industry drama, Apple’s walking a diplomatic tightrope. They’ve been throwing money and golden statues at the administration to keep the trade tensions at bay, but the iPhone 17 is still manufactured in China and India.

Bottom line? Apple’s serving up another slice of tech innovation that’ll make your current phone look like a relic from the stone age. Time to start saving those startup paychecks, tech fam.