Just when you thought the Theranos scandal was buried deeper than Elizabeth Holmes’ tech dreams, her partner Billy Evans emerges with another blood-testing startup. Talk about tech déjà vu on steroids.

The Startup That Screams “We’ve Learned Nothing”

Haemanthus, Evans’ new venture, has somehow raised $20 million to do… wait for it… blood testing. Sound familiar? The startup claims it’s “fundamentally different” from Theranos, but let’s be real - it’s giving major sequel vibes.

Wait, What’s the Deal?

Evans, who was literally Holmes’ “baby daddy”, is launching a company that uses light and “tunable lasers” to test blood, urine, and saliva samples for animals. Because nothing says “totally not Theranos” like pivoting to veterinary diagnostics, right?

The Tech Bro Audacity

The company’s defensive X post basically screams, “We promise we’re not Theranos 2.0!” But let’s break this down: started right before Holmes’ sentencing, suspiciously similar tech, and a connection that’s thinner than their claimed “different paradigm”.

Holmes is currently serving time and working as a prison reentry clerk (earning a whopping 31 cents per hour), while Evans is out here trying to resurrect the blood-testing phoenix. The audacity is truly chef’s kiss.