Google has jumped into the AI regulation debate with a new manifesto straight out of Silicon Valley’s playbook, trust us, bro, we know what we’re doing! According to their delightful new policy position, it’s time to put the brakes on all that pesky regulation nonsense that might keep AI in check. I mean, why bother with safety when we can just innovate, right?

In an era when tech companies are screaming for clarity, Google is basically leading the conga line of AI firms clamoring for federal legislation. They want laws that allow for limitless operation without the bureaucratic mumbo-jumbo of state-level restrictions that occasionally suggest, you know, keeping things safe and responsible. Their favorite nightmare? California’s vetoed SB-1047 bill, a proposal that could have enforced necessary AI safety measures. Yikes!

According to the tech giant, the U.S. needs a national AI framework, akin to a standard set of rules for the rambunctious children at a birthday party, to foster innovation without all that tiresome accountability. It’s like giving your kid a cake while saying, “Don’t worry about the crumbs!” Who needs to be responsible when you can just pass the buck?

Google is not fond of the notion that AI developers should be held liable for the fallout of their creations, because apparently, these generative AI systems have minds of their own. Picture a toddler unleashed in a candy shop: unpredictable and probably chaotic, yet somehow, Google thinks someone else should tackle the cleanup.

Oh, did we mention that the EU is trying to rain on this parade with its AI Act? This would require companies like Google to actually disclose what goes into their AI models, the horror! Google’s response? That would mean revealing trade secrets and potentially letting foreign adversaries replicate their innovations. We wouldn’t want that now, would we?

In a charming twist of irony, Google’s pushing for a regulatory environment that favors them while waving their American flag high, because nothing screams ‘democracy’ like companies dancing around accountability and responsibility. So, let’s cheer for Google, the company that believes regulation should reflect its values. Because who needs a safety net when there’s innovation to be done?