Hold onto your tech-worn hoodies, Bay Area dwellers, because Mark Zuckerberg just dropped another mind-boggling take that’s got the internet collectively raising an eyebrow.

In a recent podcast interview that screams “out of touch tech bro,” the Meta CEO casually claimed that the average American has “fewer than three friends” - a statement so bizarre it sounds like it was generated by an AI chatbot with zero social skills.

The Friendship Algorithm

Zuckerberg’s solution? More AI friends, naturally. Because nothing says genuine human connection like a personalized chatbot that knows your browsing history better than your actual friend group. He boldly proclaimed that while people only have three friends, they actually “want” around 15 meaningful connections.

Silicon Valley’s Loneliness Cure

This comes hot on the heels of Meta’s latest AI app launch - because apparently, virtual companions are the revolutionary solution to human isolation. Never mind that Zuckerberg’s previous “metaverse” venture burned through a cool $70 billion with about as much success as a tech startup’s first hackathon.

The Real Connection Paradox

What’s truly ironic is that the man behind Facebook - a platform supposedly designed to connect people - seems to fundamentally misunderstand human connection. His statistical claim about friendship numbers feels suspiciously like it was pulled from the same realm as his metaverse dreams: pure speculative fiction.

So Bay Area, next time you’re feeling lonely, just remember: Mark Zuckerberg suggests an AI chatbot might be your new bestie. Totally normal, right?