San Francisco’s neighborhood naming game is getting wild, and the latest target is Mid-Market, where real estate types are desperately trying to rebrand the area as “Lower Hayes” faster than you can say “gentrification”.

The drama unfolded when real estate firm JLL decided to slap a fancy new label on the area surrounding the former Twitter building, hoping to sprinkle some Hayes Valley magic onto a neighborhood that’s been struggling post-pandemic. Their grand marketing scheme? Rename Mid-Market to “Lower Hayes” and pray that tech workers and startups will magically materialize.

The Rebranding Hustle

Local business owners aren’t buying it. Julian Prince Dash, owner of Holy Stitch, called out the move as “new redlining,” pointing out how these “invisible red lines” can dramatically shift neighborhood dynamics. Small business owners like Jeannie Kim from Sam’s American Eatery are skeptical, arguing that a name change does nothing to address real issues like poor lighting and inadequate policing.

The Real Problem

With over 47% of office space vacant and the area struggling to recover from the pandemic’s economic hit, this rebranding feels like putting a designer band-aid on a seriously wounded neighborhood. Developer Chris Foley suggests what Mid-Market really needs is another economic incentive, not just a fancy new name.

The Bottom Line

While real estate firms dream of transforming Mid-Market’s reputation with a quick rebrand, the neighborhood’s stakeholders are calling BS. The message is clear: invest in actual community improvement, not just marketing gimmicks. Nice try, JLL, but San Francisco isn’t falling for your “Lower Hayes” nonsense.