Silicon Valley’s ethical compass just went completely haywire.

In a jaw-dropping revelation, Bay Area tech companies have collectively donated a staggering $30 million to Donald Trump’s inauguration, proving once again that corporate loyalty trumps progressive values faster than you can say “venture capital”.

Follow the Money Trail

Let’s break down the most egregious offenders. Crypto platform Ripple Labs takes the crown with a mind-blowing $4.9 million donation. Not far behind, Robinhood swooped in with a cool $2 million, while tech giants like Adobe, Coinbase, Intuit, Nvidia, and Uber each chipped in a neat $1 million.

The Personal Touch

It’s not just faceless corporations - tech luminaries like Sam Altman, Tim Cook, and even Zynga founder Mark Pincus personally opened their wallets. Notable right-wing investor Keith Rabois threw in $1 million, which honestly feels about as surprising as fog in San Francisco.

Why Would They Do This?

The motivation seems painfully transparent: access and protection. Take crypto mogul Justin Sun, who strategically invested in Trump-themed crypto coins and suddenly found SEC investigations conveniently paused. It’s a textbook example of how the tech elite play political roulette with our collective future.

In essence, these tech “visionaries” are revealing their true colors - and they’re looking suspiciously beige and spineless.