In a move that can only be described as completely predictable, the Trump administration has decided to yank about $175 million in federal funding from the University of Pennsylvania. The reason? A transgender swimmer who hasn’t competed for the school since 2022. That’s right, folks. Welcome to the Post-Trump Apocalypse, where even a lone swimmer can bring down the federal purse.

So, here’s the backstory: President Trump signed an executive order on February 5, which basically aims to ban transgender athletes from competing in girls and women’s sports. The very next day, the Department of Education kicked off an investigation into Penn’s swimming program. Cue the ominous music.

The White House claims the funding suspension is part of a broader review of discretionary federal funds dispensed to universities. These funds include contributions from both the Defense Department and the Department of Health and Human Services. Because nothing screams “patriotic” like attacking universities that support diversity and inclusion, right?

A spokesperson for Penn, Ron Ozio, remarked that they hadn’t received any official notice or details regarding the funding suspension. Can you feel the warmth from that chilling response? “We’ve always followed NCAA and Ivy League policies regarding student participation on athletic teams,” he said, sticking to the classic approach of calm amid the federal storm.

And let’s not forget Lia Thomas, the first openly transgender athlete to win a Division I title in 2022. During her time at Penn, she followed the NCAA guidelines that permitted transgender swimmers to compete after a year of hormone therapy. But according to Trump’s new interpretation of Title IX, “sex” now means the gender assigned at birth. Nice, huh?

Under Trump’s new regime, if any entity doesn’t align with this strict definition, they can kiss their federal funding goodbye. Hashtag thoughtless.

In a sudden twist the day after the executive order, the NCAA shifted its position so that only those assigned female at birth could swim in women’s sports. As expected, this not only affected Penn but also triggered reviews at other institutions like San Jose State University. Sweet, sweet irony, anyone?

This latest funding cut reinforces a scheme of political theater masked as righteous governance. It’s not just about swimming; it’s about who we believe has a place in our society. Stick that in your NCAA handbook and smoke it, Trump.