San Francisco sports fans, brace yourselves for a football fever dream that just went sideways.

The 49ers stumbled through a nightmarish Sunday morning game against the Houston Texans, getting absolutely demolished 26-15 in what can only be described as a uniform-related hallucination.

The Uniform Heard 'Round the Bay

The Texans showed up wearing what can generously be called “experimental” uniforms, complete with “H-Town” end zones that made the game feel more like a fever dream than a professional football match. And our beloved 49ers? They played like they were still stuck in a post-Halloween sugar coma.

The Performance Nobody Asked For

Christian McCaffrey, usually our offensive superhero, was reduced to a mere mortal with a pitiful 25 yards rushing. The defense looked like they’d collectively forgotten how football works, allowing the Texans to rack up a mind-blowing 475 yards of total offense.

A Glimmer of Hope (Spoiler: It Didn’t Last)

There were brief moments when 49ers fans could dream of a comeback. A touchdown right before halftime and a cheeky two-point conversion gave us hope. But let’s be real - it was about as substantial as a Silicon Valley startup’s first pitch deck.

The final blow? The 49ers are no longer sitting pretty at the top of the NFC West. But hey, football is a marathon, not a sprint - and we’re still technically in playoff contention. Small mercies, right?