Elon Musk has once again decided to make the federal government his personal playground, and this time he’s taken it up a notch with a delightful email threat to federal workers. In a recent missive sent by the Office of Personnel Management (OPM), employees were told to whip up five bullet points detailing their weekly accomplishments and cc their managers. Failing to comply? That could be interpreted as a resignation. Thanks, Elon, for redefining what it means to work for Uncle Sam.

Musk’s ludicrous memo came hot on the heels of President Trump’s amusing call for Musk to “get more aggressive” in his reign over the bureaucrats. It’s always fun to see a President turning Twitter into his personal soapbox, isn’t it? Here’s a hot tip: the last thing we need is a more aggressive Elon. Can we trade him for a more competent adult?

This isn’t just some rogue behavior. The email reads like a twisted version of a corporate PEP talk, demanding submissions sans links or classified info. You know, just a lighthearted reminder that the US government is basically a reality TV show where Musk has decided the best course of action is to terrorize federal employees with absurd deadlines.

A fed who wished to remain anonymous – because, who wants to play the blame game with Mr. Tesla? – said it feels like the goal is less about efficiency and more about dismantling our democracy. It seems that for Elon, each federal worker is just another obstacle to obliterate in his quest for game-like supremacy.

Since Trump’s tenure, thousands of federal workers, especially those involved in crucial infrastructure like nuclear security, have been laid off quicker than you can say “capitalism is failing us”. The so-called Department of Government Efficiency is busy at work sabotaging essential agencies like USAID and the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. Because why support people when you can just shrink the government down to the size of a toy car?

Legal experts remain puzzled over whether OPM has the actual authority to enforce Musk’s resignation threat. Let’s be real: with agencies being gutted and watchdogs falling silent, the law’s clarity is fading faster than our faith in those in power.

For the record, Musk is not the official head honcho of OPM, just a “senior advisor,” which in this current administration means he has all the power and none of the responsibility – sounds about right.

It’s hard to believe this is the modern workplace. The emails that flood our inboxes demand our attention, but nothing quite compares to this attempt to tighten the leash on public employees. With the charming subject line, “What did you do last week?” it’s hard not to draw parallels to some highschool-text-exchange drama.

So buckle up, fellow citizens. Our world is evolving into a quirky sitcom where the punchlines just keep getting better – and the consequences, even worse.