Tech giants are getting wild these days, and Google’s latest move is peak corporate chaos.

In a jaw-dropping twist that could only happen in the Bay Area, Google’s DeepMind is apparently playing an elaborate game of talent chess by paying some AI researchers to essentially… sit around.

The Non-Compete Cage

Here’s the tea: Instead of letting their brilliant minds jump ship to competitors like OpenAI or Microsoft, Google is using “aggressive” non-compete agreements to keep talent locked down. We’re talking about paying staff in the UK to essentially do nothing for up to a year. Talk about golden handcuffs, right?

Silicon Valley’s Talent War Gets Messy

Things got so dramatic that Microsoft’s VP of AI, Nando de Freitas, even called out the situation publicly. He shared that DeepMind staff are sliding into his DMs “in despair,” desperately seeking escape routes from their corporate prison. The kicker? These researchers are basically being paid to watch the AI revolution happen without them.

The Legal Loophole

While the US has banned most non-compete agreements, DeepMind’s London headquarters exists in a legal gray zone where they can pull these stunts. Google claims they use these agreements “selectively” - which is corporate speak for “we do what we want”.

In true tech bro fashion, instead of fostering innovation and collaboration, they’re playing keepaway with human talent. Classic Silicon Valley move: control, control, control.