In a move that screams “vintage Trump,” the former president has decided to resurrect the legendary Alcatraz prison from its peaceful museum slumber. Because apparently, San Francisco’s historic landmark isn’t just a tourist attraction anymore – it’s about to become a hardcore federal lockup.

Trump, never one to shy away from controversy, claims “conceptual work” is already underway to transform the iconic island prison. During a typically unhinged social media rant, he dramatically declared his vision of rebuilding Alcatraz as a symbol of border enforcement, referencing its shark-infested waters and imposing presence.

A Prison with a Problematic Past

Alcatraz, once home to notorious criminals like Al Capone, was shuttered in 1963 due to astronomical maintenance costs. Now, Trump wants to drag this relic back into the 21st century, with an estimated price tag between $235-$370 million. Because who doesn’t want to spend taxpayer dollars on a maritime prison complex?

The Logistical Nightmare

Let’s talk logistics. Everything from food to fuel would need boat transportation, making this endeavor about as practical as building a wall across the desert. The National Park Service, which has operated Alcatraz as a museum since 1972, might have some… thoughts about this plan.

A Symbolic Gesture

Beyond the ridiculous price tag and logistical challenges, this feels like another Trump spectacle – more performance art than actual policy. A “tough on immigration” statement wrapped in concrete and barbed wire, served with a side of nostalgic prison imagery.

Stay tuned, Bay Area. This could get interesting.