San Francisco’s finest are caught in a bureaucratic nightmare that would make even Kafka roll his eyes.

Recent documents reveal the San Francisco Police Department’s hilariously vague training for handling ICE interactions, basically amounting to a shoulder shrug and a “not my problem” attitude. While federal agents are out here potentially racial profiling and roughing up immigrants, our local cops are more confused than a tourist trying to navigate the Muni.

When “Protect and Serve” Feels More Like “Watch and Wait”

The training scenarios are so limited they might as well be a comedy sketch. Picture this: an ICE agent gets whacked with a hammer, and the SFPD PowerPoint is like, “Sooooo… what do we do?” Spoiler alert: there’s no clear answer.

The Legal Tightrope Walk

San Francisco’s sanctuary city policies put police in a delicate position where they can’t assist ICE but also can’t actively prevent federal enforcement. It’s basically the world’s most stressful game of bureaucratic dodgeball.

Free Speech? More Like Free-ish Speech

To make matters spicier, local activists and civil rights organizations like the ACLU are raising alarms about potential free speech violations during protests. Turns out, standing by while federal agents potentially abuse power isn’t a great look for community trust.

Bottom line: Our police need clearer guidelines, and immigrants need actual protection - not just performative paperwork.